How Positive Self Talk Makes You Better.

Fast forward to the moment where you can retain happiness despite the situation or counter some wrong thought almost immediately. That's the future we want to dive into now! Every situation in life would be simple or hard depending on your mind set; we may not change some events but can control our reactions.

The negative thoughts are super easy and convenient to create; there you have the blame game, self-pity, guilt or thought that a circumstance is punishment for past sins. The positive thoughts take a little step from your comfort zone to create, usually seem hard initially but have a lasting effect.

That's where positive self-talk comes in, amongst all other forms of retaining happiness and sanity. This, maybe a simpler form but it's easier said than done.

Positive self-talk is constant internal conversation:  speaking to yourself in that tiny voice or in your mind, saying only positive things to counter the slightest negative thought or feelings. This could be telling yourself the way you want things to be done. Like every other act, start small and soon you glide through difficult times.

We all have this random dialogue in our heads that affect most of our actions, if we want good results, why don't we change the random dialogue to be all positive and make it work for us. While watching the movie "Inside out", animation by the way ;) it made me understand the essence of building happy memories that affect the words we say. This starts from the mind too; I could start by saying “I choose to be aware of the negative thoughts” and switch quickly.

HOW IT WORKS.

Awareness – You should identify negative circumstances immediately they begin. Ask yourself, “Is there negativity in me at this moment?” Become alert, attentive to your thoughts as well as your emotions. Watch out for the low-level unhappiness in whatever form and for thoughts that appear to justify or explain this unhappiness but in reality cause it.

I recognized that I lived according to my emotions and that’s a terrible way to live. We should learn to live by faith not feelings. Be alert when the “I can’t” or “It’s too difficult” creeps in.

Be Articulate – It’s a new ritual though, before leaving the house I talk to myself in the mirror. Just say positive things to myself and doesn’t guarantee the day will be awesome but keeps you relaxed despite all irregularities.

There are days when I’m swamped and forget, doesn’t mean you have failed, switch right back when you realize the negative questions pop in. I try to give 5 positive statements to every 1 negative statement. “I can’t” situation can lead you to ask “Why can’t I” which further leads to solutions then “I can” annnnnd voilà! Progress.

A great method that I have also found useful is to say “God, please take control” or “Cancel this” each time I find myself saying something negative, whether in my mind or verbally. The method works if you sincerely have the intent of becoming a positive thinker.

Create Positive Scripts – You would observe how easy it is to create a drama in your mind from one negative thought to another. A drama where you’re the director, producer, actor/actress, basically just you! We could spin it around, create a story with a positive outline instead and majorly towards your goals and objective but realistic.

Set realistic Goals – Being positive doesn’t mean you neglect your weaknesses, be aware of them but not dwell there. Create realistic goals with timelines and let your positivity push you through. If you want something, you know how to go about it, then just start! Grace, smart work plus a positive mindset will take you far.

Finally replace negative external factors – I could try my best to say all the positive things but when everything around screams and yells negativity, it begins to rub off. While working on the inside, grow the outside, your circle. It will be an amazing cycle for you, the positivity from inside moves out and that outside moves inside and makes a better you.

P.S You should also watch out for negative self – talk in kids, it starts now to change their mind-set, to be positive in situations. You should acknowledge the issue or challenge they face first, ask questions, teach them to re-write their words e.g. Instead of “Writing is hard. I’m stupid, “Your child could say, “I’m working hard on writing”.

 Philippians 4 : 8 .... whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things.

WHY YOU NEED POSITIVE SELF-TALK.

·         You feel way better about yourself – Everyone is going to treat you exactly the same way you treat yourself. Avoid saying any negative thing about you. As little as “I’m stupid” sounds, it has the worst effect compared to saying “I have made a mistake; I’m not perfect but will work to avoid same mistake”.

·         Boosting your confidence – Even the best public speakers, has to say positive things about themselves before going in front of the crowd. Everyone wants approval of others at some point, in cases when approval is far far from coming, swing the approval to yourself. Boost your confidence by telling yourself the nicest things and walk majestically into that room where you’re new J

·         Building your self-esteem and make new friends – We have all faced different degrees of rejection. Rejection could be a good sign if you want to be positive about it, makes you even stronger and gives you a better approach to communication. I tell myself most times, “The fact one person doesn’t like me, shouldn’t reduce me, the next person will like and adore you”. Keep moving, approach the next person with that beautiful smile.

Life is short to be miserable, forgive, play, pray, love and live!

Let me know your own method that keeps you happy in difficult moments. J